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An old Pnoob legend tells us that the origins of the Milky Way and indeed the whole of the heavens began with the act of Self-love.
God so loved himself that he ejaculated. When Spinoza says that God loves himself infinitely, he hints at his own secret acts. We do not know whether Spinoza masturbated with a view of Amsterdam before him; lenses on the table, Descartes’ miscellanies on the shelves.
And are we nt told somewhere that ‘He’ pleasures himself, every time it rains – but in that case why always over Manchester? – Ah, there is a reason but I cannot speak of that. But what of that major sex act – auto-sex?

The legend is as follows:-

Long before the sky was blue Pleasure was playing a game of hide and seek with Pain. Innocent, and unaware of Pain’s deceitful nature, Pleasure counted to the ever important ten and commenced Her search. Pain meanwhile, leaping from galaxy to galaxy, came across Time, fatigued beyond description and barely able to take another of ... [its faltering steps.]